So, that's pretty much how the genesis of 'Grumpy Cunts' came about. A collection of six disenchanted students who, in the style of the grumpy old men (and now for equality reasons, women) seen on the BBC. See, it's not just the ancient that can moan.
So what to choose for a first subject? Shall I 'have it large' and lay into a world affecting issue, such as our British Government, or maybe have a whinge about a pet peeve of mine? I think however, I might have just answered my own question, and narrowly avoided becoming something I can't stand - indecisive people.
"Oooh, when shall we cross the road?" Argh, just MAN UP AND CROSS.We all make choices in life. I'm sorry, but it's just something we all have to do. Be they big or small, ranging from dropping a bomb on a country you don't happen to like, or what colour socks you wear in the morning, nearly our whole life is dominated by making choices.
So, now that I've established the necessity of making decisions in life could someone please answer me this small, niggling question that I constantly ask myself every day?
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO BLOODY SCARED TO COMMIT TO SOMETHING?
I'll give you a case in point - people who can't decide what clothes to wear. Right, essentially the only purpose of clothes is to hide all the horrible parts of your body. If you're ugly, then you're ugly and no amount of frustrating dressing choices is going to change this. And if you're attractive then it is your right to parade yourself naked anyway.
"Oooh, what top to buy?" Yeah, because it's not as if clothes are all VARIATIONS ON THE SAME THEME.People seem to think stuff like this is a big deal. Hours are wasted every day as women and (more so in recent times) men enter a shop, mmming and aaahing over what clothes will cover up their horrific inferiorities the best. These are hours that could be spent doing much more productive things, such as having sex or, if you're all alone due to your repulsiveness, inviting Palmela and her five lovely daughters round - you know, something fun and enjoyable.
At the end of the day, all decisions you make are just as insignificant as choosing a pair of pants. No one cares, no one will ever care, it is just people's elevated sense of worth for themselves that seems to create this immediate pressure that every choice you make will change the globe. It isn't.
Unless you're in control of enough nuclear weapons to blow the Earth to pieces and kill us all, in which case - make the right choice...do it.
Yeah go on then, you might as well. Plus that shade of orange looks divine on you.